The day everything changed...

One year ago on February 19, 2006, my best friend's fiance went hiking as he did so often. Karl and Karin had just gotten engaged that fall and were planning for their future. Would they get married in Norway, where Karl was from, or would it be here, where Karin was from? Where would they live? So many questions and such a promising future together. Karl went hiking that day, and never came back. Karin got a phone call the next day from Norway saying that Karl was missing. Her life was a whirlwind from that moment on. It came to be that Karl died on that hike that day. After three days of searching, his body was found. The days between when he was reported missing and when he was found were gut wrenching ones. Karin didn't know whether or not to go to Norway to search or to stay here. I wanted to stop everything and go help Karin, but it wasn't possible. I remember getting that phone call that Wednesday night late. Karl had been found, but he was gone. How do you comfort your best friend on something like that? It wasn't the normal, oh, he'll call you or don't worry about that fight, it was he was gone forever. I still to this day can't believe how strong she was and is. She was on phone with the Norwegian authorities while he was missing, she flew to Norway by herself to be with his family, all these things while grieving over the man she loves. I was here, not able to do anything. It was hard on everyone. This was also the time on Grey's Anatomy when Izzy lost Denny. I know, it's only a TV show, but watching her grieve over him made me think about Karin. The pain she was in was the same my best friend was in. Those episodes were so hard to watch. I could see the characters trying help Izzy just like we were trying to help Karin, but nothing would change the fact that he was gone.

I hope this makes some sort of sense to you. This has been really hard for me to write and I know I'm probably missing a lot or mixing things up. The point is, it is so hard to see someone you love go through so much pain. You feel helpless and are unable to really change anything. I hope that Karin knows how much I love her and how much I would love to take some of the pain for her. Sometimes, I almost felt guilty being with DH knowing that she would never be with Karl again. And I know that she would never want me to suffer just because she was. I was so happy for her. Karl was such a great guy - even DH liked him! I imagined us all getting together for dinner and great conversation, our kids playing together, and being great friends for life. All of that will still happen, just with one of the pieces missing.

Karl, we all miss you. I miss you. I know you're looking over Karin and are so proud of her. I am too. I hope you're hiking, inventing, debating with God, and still trying to out smart everyone up in heaven.

A blog was set up for Karl. If you are interested in reading it, go here.