I've been in a sort of funk lately. I don't know if I'm overwhelmed by the Holidays coming up or just not happy at work the last couple of weeks. I have a terrible habit of committing to doing things and then really not wanting to do them when it comes time. I can even be super excited for something and then get almost depressed thinking about it when the time comes for the actual event. Case in point, this weekend I'm going to WI for a deer hunter's widows weekend. It's something I've been doing for 7+ years now. We go shopping, to dinner and to a play. It's usually very fun. Well, this year, only my Mom and SIL are going. We're not shopping. SIL has to stay home until 4pm with my nephew and niece until the babysitter comes, so most likely, we'll be sitting around their house. I just don't want to go this year. But if I don't go, my Mom will wonder if I'm mad at her. Yes, she's just as irrational as I am. It will be a big "thing" for a couple of weeks. What makes it worse is that we have Thanksgiving at my parent's house next week, and so I'll get all the questions again, why weren't you there? Are you mad at me? Is it something I did? So, the question is, what's worse? Doing something I really don't want to do and possibly have a good time? Or put up with stupid questions? Or, just tell my Mom the truth that I don't want to do it and still put up with the stupid questions? Basically, I want to crawl into bed for a couple of months. Maybe that would help. And, yes, I'm on antidepressants. Strong ones.